Piranha 3D: Movie Review
Cast: Steven McQueen, Elisabeth Shue,Ving Rhames, Kelly
Brook, Jerry O'Connell, Lots of piranha with sharp vicious teeth
Director: Alexandre Aja
Seriously - you want a plot? Most of it's there in the title...
OK - It's spring break in Arizona and with thousands of randy ready to party
teens heading to town and on Lake Victoria itself, local sheriff Julie
Forester (Elisabeth Shue) has her hands full.
But matters are made worse when an earthquake rips open a prehistoric cavern
where thousands of vicious death fish live (See I told you the plot was minimal)
and they plough into the Lake ready to feast.
However, Julie's woes are further compounded by the fact her son Jake
(McQueen) is on the sea having fallen in with sleazy sex film maker Derrick
Jones (O'Connell) who's out to exploit everyone and anything in a bikini to help
make a new series of Girls Gone wild style videos during this peak time of
And as if that wasn't bad enough, Jake's foregone his baby sitting duties and
left his brother and sister to their own devices for the promise of some babes -
let's just hope that those cutesy kids don't wander off and end up on the
- This just in - That's exactly what the kids have done....
So with the promise of gore, nudity and minimal plot exposition, it looks
like Spring Break is going to be one to remember.
Look, it's time to fess up - you can file Piranha under guilty pleasure and
bloody good fun - if you like countless deaths, gratuitous nudity and B movie
acting. It's a remake of the 1978 film (which was itself a parody of Jaws) and
works well in places because you actually care about some of the characters
(such as Jake and his sheriff mum).
Sometimes, cinema isn't about anything more than the pure pleasure and
putting your brain in a jar outside the door and collecting on the way out -
this fish porn gore combination isn't going to win any major awards but it is
destined for cult notoriety with its quotable lines and high bloody death
It's a worthy successor to Jaws for our generation (admittedly without the
real tension) - the Facebook short attention span generation who want everything
bigger, better and nastier than before - sure some of it is pure exploitation
(such as the topless paraglider who goes into the water when the camera suddenly
switches to underwater 3D mode) and the carnage unleashed by feeding frenzy when
the piranha hit is ferocious - those alone will satiate a certain section of the
Every ingredient is there - the kids who disobey authority, the sleazy guy
who's selfishly only after his own gains, the teens who choose to ignore
warnings - it's like a check list of cliches but thanks to the tongue in cheek
acting, you know exactly what you're getting.
Of the cast, kudos have to go to Richard Dreyfuss' opening cameo which
parodies his Jaws role, Christopher Lloyd for his mad marine shop owner (sample
line - "This one vanished 2 million years ago") and Elisabeth Shue for keeping a
straight face when those around her are being slaughtered and dismembered by
fish and idiot teens alike. Admittedly, there's some pretty gross out ways that
the spring breakers are dispatched which keeps the audience's blood lust in
A sequel's inevitable and has been green lit - so you may as well see the
start of the franchise before it's culled and the fun's drained out of it.
Oh and you'll never ever be able to listen to Lakme's The Flower Duet without
recalling certain moments of this film again...